4:45 a.m.
I take as many opportunities that I can to take a break from the medication. Taking a break from the medication is a necessary process because if I don't, it will stop working. I try to take a break at least once a week but I really need to at least twice a week, because if the medicine is not working, there's not point in taking it. When I take a break I don't fall asleep till around 5 a.m., or so, and then I wake up between 7 a.m. and 10 a.m. more or less. So I average about 5 hours sleep on break nights, IF I'm lucky. Five hours of sleep might seem like plenty to some people but understand that everyone requires a different amount of sleep. Some people only require 5 hours of sleep and would do poorly with more, where some people actually require 10 hours in order to get the same effect. Also, the "quality" of sleep can be even more important than quantity, hence, the "power nap" and believe me, the quality of my sleep is quite poor. I normally wake up an average of 10 times a night. When I take my medication I am able to fall back asleep or not wake up fully but without it...I'm still up. Break Days (the day following not taking sleep medication) are actually worse than Break Nights. On Break Days there is no fun to be had, no socializing and nothing gets accomplished. I make sure NOT to make plans and I write myself a "to do" list that I know probably won't happen. Tonight is the first night of my 4 day weekend, with a holiday coming up on Monday. So...we'll see... I don't have anything planned so I might as well take as many break nights as I can, that will be 4 nights! What I want to get across is, this really sucks. It can be annoying when people are always asking how your weekend was and expect to hear something exciting or fun, while in your mind you flash back to barely being able to get out of the bed and drudging through things you have to do, even though it's the weekend, or because it's the weekend, like catching up on chores. So I will come back to work after having 4 days off and in my mind people think, "why is she so tired, she had a 4 day vacation?", while in reality, my days off are often more unpleasant than work days as I have to spend the time healing my body, gathering energy and recovering from the week, where my body can't really even do those things efficiently without sleep, so whatever.
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AuthorJust a sleeping beauty trying to wake up by getting some sleep. -GG Archives
November 2018
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