So I guess feeling like you're dying is not a valid reason to get medical leave. The past two months I felt worse than I've ever felt, which caused me to use up all my excusable absences at work. This prompted me to seek counsel from Human Resources, which advised me to apply for Short-Term Disability and seems unlikely at this point. I think the mistake was switching doctors right before applying for it since my new doctor didn't really know me or see me more than a couple times. When I tried to explain my situation to her she wrote everything down in my chart. Dr.: So why do you want to get on Short Term Disability? Me: Because the long-term effects of chronic insomnia are making my body give out and I don't feel like I can go on. Dr.: So, fatigue. Me: No, I feel like I'm dying. Dr.: So exhaustion then. Me: No, I actually feel like I'm dying. Then I had the exact same conversation with the company representative that was handling my case. She basically told me that I didn't have a real problem, since there was no medical data to back it up, as if it's my fault that the doctor never found the cause of the problem. Then the woman tried to give me medical advice and suggested more medications and asked me if I was depressed. That conversation made me depressed, having to open up and be vulnerable about something so private and having to defend it on public record. SIGH. I'll get approved if I'm meant to get approved. The Universe has a way of working things out how they are meant to. I'm pretty sure no one has a clue of what it's like to have chronic insomnia, unless you actually have it, which is the point of the blog. When people think of the problem, they are only thinking about how someone might feel bad on a certain day. As the representative said, "Many people have insomnia and go to work." Yes, but those people don't have "chronic insomnia" where they haven't slept for years. It's one thing to say, "Oh yeah, I get insomnia and I can manage," but tell me that after a year, five years, 10 years, twenty and then tell me you're not dying. Seriously, people act like going without sleep is tolerable, as if it has no medical consequences but your body requires sleep for every function. Lack of sleep can cause so many malfunctions in the body that can become serious and increase the risk of death. Dr. Joseph Mercola addresses this in his article, "Long-term Study Links Chronic Insomnia with Risk of Death." My previous doctor, as kind as she was, really didn't help me, as I only got worse over time. She did try but it was beyond her scope. Although the last time I saw her she handed me a sheet with suggestions to help to include things like, "chamomile tea, hot baths and warm milk"! OMG!!! It's not bad enough that I have every Tom, Dick and Larry telling me all these miraculous ideas when they find out about my problem, but now I have my very own doctor who's been treating me for many years telling me these things. SERIOUSLY, do you not think that I've tried EVERY natural alternative known to human-kind?!?!?! I'm surprised she didn't offer to get me a marijuana card, since that's one of the things people repeatedly recommend to me. SIGH F******G SIGH. The natural things will only work if I'm not taking all these pharmaceuticals that my body is dependent on for sleep, which is required if I want to work. I would love to get off the medication and retrain my body back to balance and health and sleep naturally, but how does one survive without a means for money? One of the adverse effects that may be caused by the chronic insomnia are nodules in my neck, to include my thyroid and lymph node. I've had pain in my neck, below the ear and the lymph node for a couple years and that's when the doctor informed me of the goiter and tried to convince me my pain was probably allergies. Whereupon I had an ultrasound done as confirmation of the goiter. The following year I still had the neck pain, which is nowhere near my thyroid and the doctor wanted a follow-up ultrasound to check the thyroid issue. I had to ask her if she could include the "entire neck". Then, I had to call for my results a couple weeks later after the ultrasound technician told me the results would be ready in a couple days. Then I finally got my results online, through the patient portal and it addressed the thyroid nodule being slightly more enlarged since the previous year but gave NO mention about the rest of my neck! Since my ultrasound I have switched doctors. My new doctor went over my ultrasound with me and told me there was also a mass in the lymph node and said that it needs a biopsy! So all those years of my doctor telling me it was allergies and this doctor is addressing things that could be serious on the first day! What's that all about, competency? Time? Copies of every record??? Has hell frozen? My new doctor has referred me to a surgeon who has decided that the biopsy should be done on the thyroid first because it's less invasive and it can rule out any thyroid causes. So I guess that's progress. Biopsy in a couple weeks.
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AuthorJust a sleeping beauty trying to wake up by getting some sleep. -GG Archives
November 2018
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